Day 1 unemployed

[rhino_neil]

 So, unemployed day 1.

Technically I'm on pay in lieu of notice.  But still anxiety, stress, wanting to stay in bed.  A friend I haven't seen in over 20 years whose son I share a birthday with messaged me to get up.  So here I am drinking tea and eating sticky porridge.

At the moment there is money and a little to come.  There are debts.  There are jobs to apply for.  There are skills I have, there are things to do.  I've been here before, picked myself up and moved on.

The quiet is all encompassing.  I don't want to put music, podcasts etc on yet.  but the quiet.

And oh god, the lifetime of friends.  the friends.  stepping up.

Comments

Day 1 unemployed

[rhino_neil]

Some thoughts. I know what happened to me. Autism/ADHD burnout. I knew it was happening, slow motion "car crash". I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Too many things, too much being asked of me, long covid brain fog? All piling up.

Re: Day 1 unemployed

[rhino_neil]

So 10.30 leaving the house, laudry on, washing up done rubbish to shoot and bag of recycling ot the right bins.

I've had two people from Uni and the 90's message me, to get me out of bed and offer a headset for interviews. I'm touched by the help, I'm moved and grateful for being given reason to get up today and do jobs and see the sun.

Re: Day 1 unemployed

[rhino_neil]

Oh, so went out for walk just before the cloud came down. Missed the best of the sun, but got a mile and a half in. Bus to twon to go to museum, but realised I should eat. NOt hungry as such, but I know 12.30 is lunch time.

So I dropped into the Food Works Cafe at Upperthorpe Library (aka Zest Community Centre!). Food Works uses food saved from waste and redistirbutes in into food boxes or meals at the cafes or frozen meals. Cafe is £1 minmin per item and £1 min per frozen meal. It's good portions and solid food. I sat there and it hit me that I felt I was too good for this service, I should be able to buy a meal deal and big bag of crisps and not worry. So my snobery, fear of being dependent won out, I started feeling very sorry for my lot, that I was using services the unemployed, pensioners etc would use. My god, the ingrained snobbery, the fact that I think I'm better, where does that come from? I felt that I'd been bought down. There's a middle class prejudice that I've obviously got built in.

Anyway, a friend (HH) rung me and let me talk through my bollocks.

Re: Day 1 unemployed

[rhino_neil]

I had a coffee with HD late afternoon. She's been very good over the last year of so, helping me sort out the flat. I talked out everything with her, it was not something that settled me, it actually really upset me, but she knows the picture and will offer company, somewhere to stay if I need it as a break and help round the flat.

It helps to actually see and talk to someone.